You see their cute faces and toned bodies. Their sweet-sixteen looks, ever charming and smiling. They are richer. More handsome or beautiful. They are lovelier and livelier. They’ve got it all together. Perfect social life. Oh their gadgets! You just want to be like them.

And so you start running around people you think are better off than you, forcing your way into their lives just so you’ll feel accepted. You want to build your sense of personality and worth by your affiliations with them. There’s nothing wrong with relating with people we admire. Neither is anything wrong with admiring people who are highly placed.

But let me warn you: You can never have a good relationship with anyone at all, whether those higher or lower, if you don’t have a healthy self-image and esteem.

And here’s another warning: Don’t ever get swept off by anyone’s charm to begin to lose yourself just to identify with them. No matter how good they are, they are not good enough to make your existence worthless. If they could take your place, you shouldn’t have been born anyway.

So hear this: Before you run around trying to forge friendship with others, however better you think they are, YOU SHOULD BEFRIEND AND GET ACQUAINTED WITH THE MAN IN THE MIRROR. I’m talking about yourself.

There’s nothing wrong in having role models and aspiring to be good in certain areas like those we admire. But don’t lose yourself. Don’t hate yourself. Don’t despise yourself because of those you think are better.

And here I speak from experience. Love yourself enough to keep you building and growing yourself. Oftentimes, it will amaze you when you get close to discover those same people desire a lot of what you have (personality, character, etc), and even loathe themselves for that thing about them that charms you.

When you start out your love or friendship journey, the first human you should strive to befriend, should be the one in the mirror. Don’t ignore that person.

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